Prada Braves Choppy Luxury Waters Buying Versace for $1.35bn.

 

We steer clear of global geopolitical events usually on this little blog, and we won't change that in any significant regard today.  We can however without being partisan make an objective statement, that at time of writing in early 2025 the luxury market is struggling, with even Hermes targets not being met, and that due to world events, it's a tough time to be a luxury brand.  These facts make Prada's decision to go ahead with acquiring Versace a particular bold move.

The reality is that deals like this are years in the making.  Numerous high-level meetings, and copious due-diligence studies. These stages take considerable time.  There may even have been some sort of penalty for not completing the acquisition after a certain point.  Nonetheless, to take a large chunk of capital, even if partially leveraged by debt, in such uncertain times, is admirable.

We applaud the brazenness of the act, and are hopeful it reinvigorates both brands.  With Versace's glamour dragging Prada out of its dull eternal 1960's aesthetic, and Prada tempering some of Versace's most vulgar excesses/. Let's wait and see. 

The RowLaunches Homewares in a Typically Annoying fashion.

Some luxury brands effortlessly manage to command the market, and supremely dominate with the history and cachet to maintain their permanent position.  For example, Hermes.  Other brands have a quietly confident and elegant turn to them, which manages to imbue them with a sense of relaxed elegance.  Such as Brunello Cucinelli.  Others are try-hard and kind of annoying.  The Row fans into the last of these in our view, and their launch of homewares has demonstrated this once again.

Don't mistake this for disdain of the quality.  The Row produces clothing which feels like the wardrobe from that 1990's Ryan Phillipe Dangerous Liasons. Ultra high-end minimalist chic luxury. And the fact this comes from former Disney stars, even if they only touch lightly on it, is remarkable.  But it is absolutely necessary to be so irritating about it?

Form the secret last-minute fashion show notifications, to the demand that attendee's surrender their mobile phones at the door.  It's all so extra, and quite silly.  If the products weren't so good, we'd have nothing but pure hate.  For their new homewares they did the same.  A surprise announcement out of nowhere. So dumb.

The products are characteristically exceptional.   Solid colour throes, wool bedding, and the finest cashmere, it's an outstanding selection of the very best simple interior pieces, with prices starting from £1,200 for small cushions.  Great item's, and the start of a premium home interior collection, but seriously, drop the pretentious marketing.

Louis Vuitton Music Player Bag, April Fool?

 

Currently ding the rounds on the Social Media circuit and blogosphere is the Louis Vuitton Music Player Bag.  If this is teal, and if it will be produced, it's reported it will be a leather bag with a faux screen, resembling a classic Apple iPod, retailing for around £1,000.

It's no secret that we are quite critical of Louis Vuitton's creative direction.  They seem to genuinely lack creativity, relying on stunts, and "statement" pieces, that are just designed to shock.  However, this actually seems quite charming to us.  It is a genuinely fun little piece.  Like it or not, LV are good at quality, and something as fun and charming as this, created with LV's quality control, might be an actually interesting item.

However, all the article's seem dated from March 29, and April 1 is a mere 2 days later.  Furthermore, there doesn't see to be anything on Louis Vuitton's own website.  Therefore, this might just be an April Fool's joke.  We hope not, because this is actually quite fun.  

Saint Laurent Paris quietly rebrand their logo to a Classic Look.

 

In 2012 Hedi Slimane made waves in the fashion industry by completely revolutionising Yves Saint Laurent.  They took the brand, which by this point had stagnated hugely from its origins, and turned it into a rock n roll luxury slim cut affair which has taken it from strength to strength.  Now, if you see a celebrity with a wool teddy, or slim cut dark overcoat, there's a high chance it's from Saint Laurent Paris.

This last point however, the naming of the brand, caused perhaps more controversy than any other.  Numerous articles were written about whether the new sans serif simplified logo, which dropped the "Yves", was a tribute to the brands creator, or a disservice.  It got to such a point that Hedi, normally very reticent to speak to media, gave an interview to Vogue to justify their choices (here).

However, what has seemingly gotten no attention, and is not being discussed anything like Slimane's move, is the fact that the new creative director, Anthony Vaccorello, is quietly changing the logo again.  Seen above, the new logo appears to be a return to the traditional stylised font, but dropping also the "Paris" from it.  

This appears to be a very inconsistent move from our analysis.  The website has the new logo, some shirts, knitwear and coats have it, while a lot of outerwear has the old logo.  Furthermore, there are several leather jackets with the new logo, and "Paris" in the old font.  

We're not quite sure why the move has been made, and confused why it's been done so inconsistently.  Gut instinct suggests Vacorello wants to make their mark.  However, they seem to have failed, as we can't find anyone discussing it.  Also, if you want to make a mark, why not have a consistent roll out across all levels of the brand?

It seems to us that this is probably a case of Vaccarello wanting to distinguish themselves, but corporate preventing them from doing so from fears of loosing money to consumers that might not like the new style.  This indicates Vacarello probably doesn't have the same weight as Slimane, so wasn't able to make the bold move the Belgian made.  We predict this will either fizzle out, and return to Slimane's logo, or we will just see the inconsistent branding across lines.  Until of course Vaccarello is replaced with someone who can introduce something new.

Frederique Arnault Proves Nepotism is Real Being named Loro Piana CEO.

About a year ago we wrote of how the Arnault family is the real-life Succession family, and how much they seem to enjoy promoting non-achieving family members despite their non achievements, if anyone's interested, that's here.   In that same article we wrote about how despite Frederique Arnault's tenure at Tag Heuer seeing Tag's popularity declining, they were being named as the head of LVMH's entire watch division.  

Well, it appears that failing upwards is real.  According to this article from Professional Jeweller,  LVMH's Watches & Jewellery sales have declined 2% under Frederique, and profit from recurring operations has fallen by 28%.  However, the young fellow, and we do say young as they are 29 years old, is the named new head of Loro Piana.

Who knows what this will result in.  Loro Piana can't become much worse than it is, it's currently pretty stale and rather bland.  But we have confidence in Freqerique, we think they might be able to destroy this brand completely.

In all seriousness, this is, as the title suggests, the most blatant nepotism.  But, to be fair and balanced, wouldn't you do the same in Bernard Arnault's shoes?  After all, you can only really trust blood at the end of the day, and letting his children fail while experiencing a range of the luxury empire's brands means they will have fingers in a lot of pies, and a overview of all the groups operations.  Ready to take the reigns, and keep it firmly in the family.  Or they'll all spectacularly fail and destroy it completely. Either way, you'd probably still do the same thing. 

 

Leica Confusingly launches the MagSafe LUX Grip.

 

Leica have made the choice, in our opinion foolishly, to manufacture and release a new product, the Leica LUX Grip for MagSafe iPhone's.  We have three issues with this, one, it devalues the Leica brand, two, it silently admits it's loosing the camera battle, and three, there are mass-market options that are cheaper making it idiotic.

Of the first, Leica is supposed to be a high-end specialist brand, which focuses on ultra high quality rangefinder's and imaging equipment.  What is supposed to make them stand out is the famed quality of their lenses.  Along with their solid German made construction.  This is a plastic iPhone accessory, with no connection to this heritage.  This is not to say Apple isn't also a luxury brand.  Its Hermes collaboration attest to that.  However, there is a genuine symbiosis between the two luxury giants.  A careful application of Hermes specialism's of leather and high-design with Apple's technology.  Here there's nothing.  just a 130g handle.

As to the second, this can't possibly be seen as anything other than a tacit admission that iPhone camera's are of a similar standard to a Leica.  Many would point towards the entry-level products that Leica produce, such as the SoFort, and D-Lux, and scoff at this.  Yet, returning to the first point, they're Leica camera's, this is a grip for an Apple iPhone, meaning it's essentially an accessory for a different camera brand.  As stated, how can that be interpreted other than an acknowledgment that iPhone's now compete with Leica's?

Finally, of the third point, products precisely like this have been produced for years.  The brand Shift Cam has been making them for some time, and they charge about £130.  Not to mention the hundreds of budget options on Amazon starting from £20.  Why buy Leica's £260 model when you can get the same product, for half or less?  Remember this isn't like asking "why get the Sofort 2 when you can get a Fujifilm Intax Mini Evo?"  The answer to that is simple; because it's a Leica camera, with a Leica lens.  That doesn't apply here.  

In one incredibly foolish move Leica have released an overpriced item, of little utility, which devalues their brand, and admits iPhone's are chipping way at their bottom line, and may even be able to compete.  Most unwise.  Maybe you disagree, well you're wrong.  Still want it?  It's out soon, from Leica.

Bang & Olufsen Offer Atelier Service for Personalised Options.

 

For some considerable time, we have ridiculed Bang & Olufsen's "Atelier Edition's".  We've done so as there was no discernible reason for a price hike purely for the privilege of a different colour option.  With the exception of certain versions, such as the marble base speaker models, or wood panelling ones, there's no reason to pick them over the standard model.  Why choose this particular set of colours arbitrarily selected by someone else?

However, B&O has now taken an entirely different approach.  One which displaces our criticisms.  It has created a bespoke service where the shop floor models can be customised to a consumers specifications.   The service offers over 500,000 possible combinations, with colour, material, and finish all up for grabs.  No longer do you have to settle for someone else's style choices, your product can be truly unique and special to you.

This is a move we commend.  Bang & Olufsen is a storied brand, with a history of creating premium audio and visual technology.  Some of us remember the sense of wonder and excitement when seeing their products operate.  They were truly aspirational, the price tags ight have been astronomical, but they felt worth it.

The flirtation with the mass-market killed a lot of this.  For over a decade they tried to compete with mainstream brands.  Completely forgetting that what them special was that they were a cut above.  This move, of offering a truly bespoke service, adds a layer of sophistication, and elegance, that goes a significant way towards repairing the damage the brand did to itself.

Of course, this comes at a premium price, but when that is because of your choice, it begins to make sense finally for a consumer to choose an Atelier Edition over a shop floor model.

Dyson Announce Car+Boat Handheld Possibly Just a Rebranded V8.

 

Dyson have announced a brand new product, the compact, and ultra efficient Car+Boat handheld vacuum.  At least, that's what they say they have announced, we have a sneaking suspicion this is not quite what it says on the tin.  We suspect this is merely a rebranded V8 vacuum.

We have seen this a few times over the past year.  An example being Bang Olufsen's fancy new Eleven earbuds.  We wrote recently that they seem more like the EX headphones in a new colour with a higher price tag (see here).  Ad it seems as if we might have been close to the truth.  As a well known YouTube tech channel did a teardown of them and found they are essentially the same product.  It seems as if the same thing is happening here.

Dyson haven't even done a very good job of concealing it.  If the specs on their own website are viewed, we see they are identical.  There's been some effort to hide it, as the V8 models dimensions are all listed including the longest accessory, giving the appearance of a different device.  Yet simple logic tells you that's not right.  There's the same charge time, suction power, bin volume, weight and runtime.  But more significantly. they just look the same.  Need further proof?   Check the spares and accessories, it's the same battery.

To an extent it's understandable.  The V8 is an amazing piece of technology.  Compact but strong enough to clean a small flat.  Very light.  And styled in a way it looks good hanging up, while also being able to fulfil your space laser fantasies while in use.  But if you're going to rerelease it with a new name and pretend it's a different product, at least discontinue the V8 and wait a year or something.  So the obvious lazy marketing attempt isn't clearly on display for all to see.

In any event, you can now get the V8/Car+Boat, on Dyson's website for £250, or just get a reconditioned V8.  Or keep the one you have because there's no point in upgrading as this is the same product.

Porsche Design Honor Magic V2 Smartphone Reminds us of how Redundant Luxury Phones are.

 

Luxury technology is, frankly, oxymoronic.  Technological devices are designed to be on the cutting edge, and therefore are inherently disposable.  While luxury goods are theoretically supposed to be superior quality products meant to last.  It’s therefore endlessly amusing to see brands attempt to buck this trend, inevitably producing things which are forgotten after a year or two.

No category of electronic device better exemplifies this than phones.  The average life of a cellphone is 6 months to a year, so the idea they can have any permanence is faintly ridiculous.  It’s one thing to suggest a Bang Olufsen stereo will last for years, and often it does, but pretending a phone can stay with you longer than 12 months isn’t realistic.  Vertu, Nokia’s now defunct luxury phone arm showed this, as it shuttered repeatedly.

Yet that doesn’t stop brands continuing to try.  Such as for example the new Porsche Design Honor Magic V2 luxury smartphone.  it’s specs are. . . Irrelevant.

No one wants this, no one asked for it, and likely, no one will buy it.  After all, a top of the line fully specced Apple iPhone Pro is more luxurious, and more expensive.  It’s completely redundant, and a bit sad, when you consider the waste of resources and environmental impact that went into these landfill fillers.

Maybe you disagree?  Well, you shouldn’t.  Doubt we're right?  It's already been reduced to clear from £2,340 to £1,650.