Commodore Callback - Useless Dumb Phone's Continue Their March

 We have long supported the notion that the only thing dumb about dumb phones is the concept itself.  Yet perhaps nothing better exemplifies this than the new dumb phone that saw the storied brand Commodore throwing their hat in the ring, the Commodore Callback.

For younger people Commodore might not ring any bells.  However, at one point in the 1980's it was the largest computer manufacturer in the world.  That history is long past now, and following bankruptcy the brand was purchased by a German computer company in 1995.  Since then Commodore has been producing mostly retro tech, with the passion for that in the last few years seeing a ramping up of products targeting consumers.  This is the background that made them design, manufacture, and release, the Callback.

It can't be disputed that this is an aptronym, as it is most certainly a callback.  Coming in three classic designs, transparent and gold, harking back to the face swapping of the 90's, and a classic white, that evoke's Commodore's old computer designs.  It's also a clamshell, which can't help but make users think of the 1990s.  The dot matrix display, and LED notification lights, also can't hale a child of the 70's feel nostalgic.  

However, beyond aesthetics, this manages to also  be aptly named, as anyone buying this particular dumb phone can hardly be called wise.  We started this article mentioning dumb phones being dumb, yet many offer some advantages.  But the Callback allows no email, no RCS, and doesn't permit banking apps.  This last point is understandable, as the proliferation of finance apps is ludicrous.  But lacking the fundamental communication method of email is criminal.  As is the price for this inadequate communication tool, which is £350.

Phillips Record Breaking Watch Auction Demonstrates the Rich Remain Rich.

 

If the record breaks g stock market gains weren't convincing enough that the end is nowhere near nigh, the auction market should be good evidence of it.  Phillips recent watch auction in the Hotel President in Geneva on May 9 and 10 2026 broke all records, selling 224 of 225 lots, and $96.3 million in sales. 

In particular, 43 world records were broken, including Patek's setting higher benchmarks than ever, F.P Journe demonstrating its significance to the collectors market, and even independent brands such as Akrivia which pulled in £2.86 million for a AK-06 reference.

According to Aurel Bacs and Livia Russo, consultants in the watch collecting and art collecting worlds, watches are now alongside fine art, jewellery, and rare cars, in respect of collectibles.  We're not convinced, but it's definitely impressive, and certainly shows that if the drain is being circled, there's clearly a great deal of water left in the sink.

Vertu Resorts to AI Slop in Advertising it'a AlphFold AI Agent Phone.

We mentioned a year or so ago that Vertu re-emerging would supply endless comedy moments (here), and we had been repeatedly proven right.  Their latest AlphaFold phone shows this with absolute aplomb.  apparently targeted towards business users, it apparently comes with a brand new AI agent known as "Hermes".  Apparently it is so advanced it can handle schedules and tasks on a users behalf.

This is quite remarkable, as it seems to indicate that Vertu have achieved what all other AI producers have not, a form of active, General AI.  It appears that without telling anyone, Vertu achieved the singularity.

Or perhaps not.  Indeed, far more likely not.  Like everything they now produce it's smoke and mirrors.  Their logo states "Vertu England", but the phones are made in mainland China, and the headquarters is in Hong Kong.  The new phone specs are irrelevant, because no-one will buy it.  But what is amusing is that they've fallen so far that they have now resorted to using AI generated advertisements.  Presumably the difficulties they faced have made them reconsider having a marketing budget.  

In any event, the AlphaFold will be available from £5,000.00 to £100,000.00 in precious metals.  If you are so inclined to buy one, don't be surprised if you're laughed at by others for using it.

 

Boss Linge Roset Togo Capsule Stuns Few.

 

In perhaps the most mismatched collaboration since chalk met cheese, Ligne Roset, a luxury furniture brand known for high-end furniture, and Hugo Boss, a fashion brand known for a questionable past, and making mid-range suits that fit poorly.  Yet while this might not be the collaboration we wanted, it's the collaboration we got.

In terms of the output, we have the Togo Fireside chair and Pouffe in "Boss" like colour ways.  Black leather and black fabric, or brown leather and beige fabric.  The leather is apparently Cachou, Ligne Roset's grained aniline leather, and the fabric is Kerale, Ligne Roset's cotton, linen viscose blend.

And that's it.  It's a pretty underwhelming offering, which typifies Boss, as "middle of the road" is how most would characterise Hugo Boss, unthreatening, and rather dull.  On good thing is the price, as in it's the same cost as a non-co-branded piece, with the Fireside chair being £2,200.00, and the Pouffe £1,100.00.  So if you like the colours, at least you don't need to pay a premium for them.

Swatch Audemars Piguet Royal Pop Collection, and the AI Renders Which Fans Prefer.

Much hype preceded the latest Swatch luxury brand collaboration.  Hype which the first image here would suggest was warranted.  This image which shows an Audemars Piguet Royal Oak Swatch demonstrates a direct copy of the uber high-end piece, one which would unquestionably recapture the hype of the original Omega Moon Swatch.  Something badly needed, as the second collab, the Blancpain Fifty Fathoms Swatch, is still very much available on Swatch's own site.  While the Omega Moon Swatch sold out in hours, and resells for many hundreds above retail.  However, the above image is AI generated, and nothing like the real thing.

Indeed, the true face (pun intended) of the collaboration is a pocket watch.  Anyone familiar with the history of Swatch won't be overly surprised by this, the Pop brand was a pocket watch brand, therefore it's entirely expected that it's one of those.  What's less expected is that consumers don't want the pocket watch, they want the AI render version.  What is perhaps even more surprising, and is a stark demonstration of the fact that we truly live in interesting times, is that they are going to get what they want.

In an unprecedented move, Chinese manufacturers are producing the bands and bracelets from the AI renders, and are selling them in absolute barrel-loads.  According to this article in Wired, the demand created by the AI generated images resulted in supply.  We are of the view the chicken laid the egg here, and it was a deliberate, targeted campaign to create demand, with the supply already in place.  Whatever the case, we certainly live in unusual times, where a copy of a thing is more popular than the thing, and results in it being more desired than the original.

Perhaps you disagree, and would love a pocket watch.  If so, they are available now on Swatch's website for £335 a piece.

 

 

Bose Attempts To Clone Sonos With New Lifestyle Collection.

Bose is a brand which only really had one big win, that being Active Noice Cancelling.  They pretty much invented it, sold it en-masse to aviation, and then put it into the retail arena to great success.  They're a big company, and make profit, but their brand identity has always been confused.  

Indeed, it always felt like they were playing catch-up outside of ANC.  All their surround sound kits seemed to ape Sony kit, and there was a constant antagonism with Bang and Olufsen.  In that they're a lifestyle design leaning audio brand, but weren't able to justify Bang Olufsen prices, while often following their design cues.  Their new lifestyle collection therefore seems very on brand, in that they feel like a cross between 2010 Sonos speakers, and the Bang Olufsen M3.  

Frankly, nothing here is particularly offensive.  Bose make good kit, and these probably all sound great, with lots of connectivity options.  The prices of this little set of three items are pretty reasonable.  The M3 clone speaker is £349.00, the subwoofer is £849.00, and the soundbar is £999.00.  But they all just look a bit. . . bland.  Also outdated.  

Perhaps you disagree?  If so, they're available now from Bose online.

Kering Potential Canary in the Coalmine as Shares Drop by 9.3%

We have been waxing lyrical for some time about the possibility of a decline in luxury goods consumption and growth.  Something difficult to advocate for given the constant success of Hermes.  Yet Hermes is an outlier, and the Kering Group, parent of Gucci amongst many others, is showing things might be less rosy than they want you to think.

The fire comes from the fact that following Gucci reporting a slump in earnings, the conglomerate has seen a 9.3%.  This is a significant drop, and it’s our sense that, as the title suggests, we are witnessing the beginning of a downward spiral of the luxury industry.

We’ve been wrong before, but the multitude of competing global factors lend us to say were more likely right.  Time will however, as with all things, tell.