Loro Piana Confounds Logic With Jewellery Collection.

Pictured here are the offerings from Loro Piana's newest release, a jewellery collection.  The mind immediately jumps to why a business created for the express purpose of manufacturing fabrics feels that jewellery is within its purview.  However, lets step aside from that momentarily, and consider the pieces themselves. 

They are without exception, entirely unexceptional.  Bland, dull, and ordinary pieces that wouldn't look out of place in a small high-street jewellery store.  But this isn't surprising, as Loro Piana is, as often noted, owned by LVMH, and what LVMH does with everything it touches is turn them into sterile clones of its flagship Louis Vuitton.

There's another item underpinning this move, which is the desire that all brands now have to be 'houses'.  To sell all things for all people.  The casual observe might cite Louis Vuitton and Hermes and mention how they do this.  Yet, Hermes started as a saddle maker, a craft requiring exceptional skill, that can be turned to any other luxury manufacture.  And Louis Vuitton, as much as we malign them, have the same background as a trunk manufacture.  LVMH's problem is thinking that their excellence can be applied to every brand in their portfolio.  It can't, and they should appreciate the value of specialisation in the businesses they buy.

Perhaps you disagree?  If so, these pieces are available now from Loro Piana's website's and stores ranging from £750 to £3,000. 

 

Louis Vuitton Darjeeling Collection - Again

In 2007, Wes Anderson released the Darjeeling Limited.  A predictably whimsical and playful tale about three wealthy brothers travelling across India on a spiritual journey, with undertones of chasing an inheritance.  A common Anderson theme.  While the on-screen stars were the usual Anderson suspects of Owen Wilson and Adrian Brody, another star was Louis Vuitton luggage.  

The custom made luggage was a Shibboleth representing the brothers journey, and disposing of it showed their growth.  LVMH decided to ignore this message, and seized on their IP by releasing a selection of Darjeeling pieces.   Now, fifteen years later, they have released them again.

Never let it be said that Louis Vuitton have run out of creative ideas, for this collection is significantly different than the last.  In that it has a lot more pieces.  While the old one only had the pieces from the film, this one pastes the custom designed logos' over everything from stationery, to socks.

We don't think going bigger hides the creative bankruptcy of this collection, but if you disagree, the collection is available now, prices ranging from £200.00 to £80,000.00.

 

Rimowa Flogs Dead Horses With Grid Classic Collection.

Since Rimowa'a acquisition by LVMH they have demonstrated poor choice after poor choice.  We wrote last year about the decision to release the classic range in multiple colour ways, and how this is inherently contradictory in respect to the messaging of classicism, given it stands diametrically opposed to it.

Rimowa's latest release however does manage to qualify for the classic moniker, as it's a re-release of a 1950's collection, the alumium grid collection.  The grid like pattern released by Rimowa in the 1960's remained true to its origins, whatever the business case may be for debating from it.

What makes this collection slightly odd is that Rimowa moved away from this design due to the groove design being more hard wearing, along with being more attractive overall.  Therefore by releasing this new re-issue, the brand has taken a step back, and down.  An odd choice.  

You may disagree, and find these pieces irresistible.  In which case they are available now from Rimowa, staring from £1,900.00 for cabin luggage.  Yes, they are also significantly more expensive by over 60% than their superior, other, edition.

 

Prada Sea Beyond Capsule Collection

 

In 2021 Prada and UNESCO collaborated to produce the Sea Beyond educational program.  This was conceived for schools worldwide to educate children at the ages of 7-14 about sustainability, and ocean preservation.  Prada has since gone on to ensure all its nylon products are "Re-Nylon".  Which means that the nylon used is regenerated nylon, with the hopes this can be reused in the future.

Prada has continued to fund this program, and has likely educated many children about the dangers and risks of plastic in the sea, and microplastics in everyday drinking water.  They have now further monetised this by releasing a capsule collection titled the Sea Beyond collection.

The Collection itself is simply four classic Prada nylon pieces, in primary colours, and one small detail, the Prada logo is coloured to match the product, a nice little detail.  Prices start from £380 for the bucket hat.

While it's admirable Prada are investing money into sustainability, and is encouraging they have likely shaped young minds with their program, it seems inherently contradictory for a fashion brand to tout their credentials as a supporter of anti climate-change ideologies.  By their very nature, that of needing to produce a new collection twice a year, they stand diametrically opposed to this.  With factories creating garments, shipping them around the world, and into stores, the amount of carbon dioxide produced makes a course for kids to learn about pollution in the oceans rather like a band aid over a bullet wound.

The best thing Prada could do to contribute to climate-change is to stop existing.  But that won't happen. So, nice products, we might buy the jacket, the self coloured logo is quite cool.

Casio S100X Urushi Edition Calculator - Otherwise known as the Special One

It's difficult to imagine spending £500.00 on a calculator, considering it's been a feature of every mobile phone for over 20 years.  However, Casio have produced a special edition of their flagship S100X model.  Do you doubt it's a special edition?  They even call it the "special one".

The features are pretty irrelevant, because it's a calculator.  If you need a feature list for a calculator then you are a very particular type of audience.  Probably you're an accountant.  What's more interesting to the man on the Clapham Omnibus is that while the standard line on this is how stratospherically expensive it is, it actually isn't.  For the price to be properly estimated, the non special-edition model needs consideration.  Its price is £350.00 to £400.00.

So what does the additional £100.00 to £150.00 get you?  A calculator cast with a Japanese Urushi lacquer technique by a master craftsman, Ryuji Umeda.  This utilises layering lacquer tree's filtered sap on the calculators miles aluminium housing, and achieving a sense of depth with repeated applications.  This process takes around a month for each model, and a good example of how much an average Urushi lacquer item costs can be found by a quick google search.  This shows average models, such as a small box from less skilled craftsmen, cost £50.00 to £100.00.

So then what we have is, contrary to the popular view, not an extortionately expensive calculator. But rather an already expensive calculator in a handcrafted housing, which all signs point to consumers being charged cost price for.

The re-sale market however is another thing altogether.  These are listed on eBay and other resale sites for £1,500.00 - £2,000.00.   

New Balance Phone and Balance Phone Pro Minimalist Smartphone

It never ceases to surprise us the ways in which lifestyle choices can be subverted into consumer products, with the minimalist phone 'market' being an exceptional example of this.  What began from some individuals deciding to use simpler phones that lack the trappings of fully-fledged devices has now morphed into a complete industry.   We have the Light Phone, Punkt phones, Brick device for limiting phone functionality, and the less creatively named Minimal Phone.  Now from a Catalan based company comes the Balance Phone and Balance Phone Pro.

This device, in the same way as all others in this space, promises to help you "avoid distractions" and "reclaim your time".  Along with hyperbolic statements about living "intentionally".  It offers these as a solution for children, lacking addictive apps, and the ability to access harmful sites.  Along with bold promises that "finally you have a distraction free phone".

Our view of this is; if you want to avoid distraction, buy an old candy-bar type phone.  They still make them, so there's no need to buy one from a brand with a website featuring Sans Serif and stylish design cues.  Furthermore, the idea a child would be satisfied with anything less than the latest and most advanced iPhone, or that you can simply prevent them from contacting their peers through apps, is ludicrous, and demonstrates unfailingly the creators of this phone have no children.  As with all the devices in this rapidly growing marketplace, they are merely vacuous aesthetic luxury choices.  The only one that's sort of acceptable is the Punkt MC02, as it it has big bold keys for old people, and no screen, and therefore no apps.  To reiterate, these minimal smartphones are oxymoron's, which is fitting as they will likely be used by morons.  

If you disagree, the Balance Phone is £269.00, and the Pro for £609.00, both from their website, and available now.

 

 

Astell Kern Ultra High End SP4000 MP3 Player

 

In a world where separate dedicated devices are becoming increasingly rare, and in which a smartphone or laptop is generally peoples all-in-one entertainment device, some brands keep the candle of specialisation burning.  Astell & Kern manage to do this with the MP3 player.  

The new SP4000 is their most ambitious yet.  With direct access to to music apps, preserving hi-fidelty audio quality.  Their True Quad-DAC creates exceptional signal to noise ratios, and copper-shielding, and the latest technology in high end audio.

The price for this excellence is £3999.99, making it the brands most expensive player yet.  It's a remarkable achievement that this brand single handedly keeps the world of high-end MP3 players alive.  A remarkable achievement given how completely redundant MP3 players now are.

Rimowa Classic Titanium Further Dilutes the meaning of Classic.

For the uninitiated, Rimowa's classic collection is intended to be the throwback, evergreen, permanent and never-changing collection of luggage pieces for the traditionalist. However, last year under the stewardship of LVMH they decided to eschew this by releasing black aluminium versions.  They have now demonstrated an entirely schizophrenic definition of classic, by releasing the model in titanium.

It is worth mentioning on the record that at no point prior to the mid 2010's was Rimowa's aluminium ever coloured.  Further, the classic range never was.  Yet such pedestrian concerns over convention fall by the wayside when considerations such as the profit motive take precedence.

So here we have it.  The "classic" Rimowa luggage range, in titanium, a colour which is neither classic, nor enduring.  Available now from £1100 for cabin luggage.