Ressence TYPE 3 Marc Newson Edition.

As a concept and word, innovate is grossly overused in marketing speil.  The amount of times a new colour gets called an innovation is cringe inducing.  With Apple being a principal offender on this front.  Therefore when something truly innovate comes along it's a welcome reprieve from mundanity.  The Belgian watch brand Ressence has been innovating repeatedly since its inception, and continues to do so.

Started by a Belgian industrial engineer, the watches eschew all principles of design, and replace the traditional hour and minute hands with a series of dials, and rotating case tracking seconds.  The degree of precision and haute horologie required to create these pieces is remarkable, and the price reflects that, with pieces starting from £12,000m, and most costing well over £20,000.  This is a difficult pill for many to swallow, especially given the design language can be best described as "cutesy", and that they could easily be mistaken for a Casio G Shock to the untrained observer.

Now from this house of marvels comes the TYPE 3 Marc Newson edition.  With the TYPE 3 we have yet another innovation, and more worlds firsts.  These watches are filled with oil, which in conjunction with the full glass front, means they have unbeatable readably from any angle. Which makes them look even more like what they are not, a smartwatch.

The Marc Newson edition ups the special even more, with a colour way that harkens back to Newson's 1990's IkePod designs.  A fitting touch to make ultra high end watchmaking yet more whimsical.  Available now in limited quantities for £44,000.

 

Vertu AI Agent Q Phone for £100,000.00.

 

Just a few short weeks ago we wrote about the return of Vertu to the mobile phone space, and how pleased we were that the font of endless comedic content had returned.  No sooner than us saying that, Vertu has already released something which can only be described as faintly ridiculous.

The new Agent Q from Vertu manages to combine both an utter lack of taste, with gauche and gaudy exteriors, with the worst excesses of modern hyperbole, by featuring "AI", without any clear meaning of what it actually does.  According to the marketing guff it is exclusively for high net worth individuals, with a toolbox of of AI agents for all the needs of the users, yet just as with the laughable Amazon "AI" stores that turned out to be merely cameras connected to a call centre, this connects to a human concierge,  Thereby rendering the AI element as useless as it truly is.  Don't forget the useless "wings" on the back!

Available now starting from £7,000 up to over £100,000.00 for the most blinged out version. Buy now!  Or not if you have any sense.

G Shock Bamford Take Three for 2025 With a Hyper-Ironic Launch Venue.

 

Bamford and G Shock have collaborated for the third time, and are releasing a Bamford branded G Shock 5600 for £279.00.

That's it really on the watch front.  We can't fault it frankly, while it forms part of the hyperbolic marketing of this piece, with Bamford saying "every watch collector should have a G Shock", that doesn't detract from the fact it's true.  The reality is G Shock's are by and large relatively inexpensive, last almost forever, are virtually indestructible, and have an exceptional selection of versions to choose from.  They straddle the collectors divide between tool watch, avid collector, and beginner starting their horological journey.  Not to mention they are a great choice for a knockabout watch when in dodgy environments that still has cachet.

What is however particularly interesting about this third release from the duo is the way it is being launched.  The two companies have taken over a small newsagents in Covent Garden, Meera Newsagents, and are launching their new watch from there, alongside "branded" goods.  Meaning everyday items customised with Bamford and G Shock logos.  According to the marketing materials this is inspired by Japanese Konbini, or convenience stores, which sell a variety of everyday items.

We feel there is something so perverse in this as a marketing move, but f you think about it however, it makes so much sense. You have George Bamford, an person born to such extreme wealth an privilege it's difficult to conceive, viewing the small local shop, something which is often frequented at odd hours in search of cash withdrawal, rizlas, and cans of Super T, a thing they would never do other than in the abstract.  Combined with the idealised view of the Japanese Konbini, which western shoppers mistakenly believe are in some way revolutionary or extraordinary due to the highly pedestrian nature of their local shops.  It is accidentally genius, in that it somehow manages to loop round on itself like some sort of hyper-ironic ouroboros, devouring it's own tail in the wash of casual racism, and extreme privilege.   We hope above all else that the owners of Meera Newsagent's are independent, and were well compensated for this experiment in bad taste.

For those wanting to experience the Meera pop-up, it's there from December 5th 2025, till December 8th 2025, and the watch goes on general sale on December 9th 2025. 

And Son's Ed Ruscha Made in California Chocolate Bar.

It's nice to be able to occasionally provide commentary on something entirely uncomplicated.  The And Sons's Made in California chocolate bar is an excellent example of precisely that.

The bar itself is made from blood orange olive oil from Sonoma County California, mineral rich sea salt from Tomales Bay California, and Peruvian dark chocolate from Napa Valley.  It is housed in a sun yellow cloth bound box which reproduces Ed Rusha's often reproduced "Made in California" work, and the bar itself has the relief of the West Coast of California's topography.

Therefore this is a very simple luxury chocolate bar with strong ties to, and associations with, California. Whether this will have any value beyond the nice box seems unlikely.  Chocolate isn't known for its longevity, but at least you get to experience something fairly uncomplicated, and quite simple in respect of the delivery of its idea.

Available from mid December with no info on pricing, and a wait list for notification on availability.

 

Vertu Returns to Phone's, No One Asked For It, But They're Back.

 

Long ago we found endless sources of comedy with Vertu's releases.  The tone deaf releases, which each year desperately attempted to cash in on the Chinese New Year, were always hilarious.  We were deeply disappointed with the font of content that Vertu represented ceasing operation in 2017, and deciding not to continue producing mobile phones after relaunching as a luxury accessories brand in 2018.

We are therefore extremely pleased to note that Vertu have decided in 2025 to return to the mobile phone game.  Despite, as the title holds, no one wanting them to.  We could spend inches of column space on the history of Vertu, and poking fun at them along the way.  But we couldn't possibly provide an account as laughable as Vertu's own website here.

The self own this article presents is quite epic.  It's obviously cut and pasted from ChatGPT or another Large Language Model, with the prompt "set out the history of Vertu".  See for maximum laughs the "fall of Vertu" section, which provides "Vertu fell behind in technology, it focused on luxury, but others offered better cameras and faster phones."  Quite.

Actually, it failed because it's stupid to have ultra luxury technological devices.  Irrespective of how wealthy a person is there needs to be a value proposition in consumption.  Luxury goods provide the value proposition of exclusivity and quality by virtue of longevity.  Technological devices are inherently transient, and paying above the odds for them is faintly ridiculous.  

Vertu seems to have failed to recognise that once again, and we can't wait to see their entertaining offerings.

Luxus Luxury Asset Investment Firm Launches Birkin & Kelly Hedge Fund.

As the title indicates, it's now possible to buy an interest in a Hedge Fund pinned to the value of Hermes bags.  This might seem novel, however, as the luxury goods market becomes a global aspiration, investment funds linked to a particular type of luxury good are in fact becoming increasingly common.  In South Korea the investment platform Piece launched in 2021, which links its value to luxury watches such as Rolex's.

Indeed, it might be suggested that buying stock in a luxury goods company is roughly analogous to investing in the pieces it produces.  After all, it's entirely right that luxury goods companies produce luxury goods, therefore investing directly in their output is little more than jumping one step.

Yet however logical might wish to be, it seems somehow perverse to invest directly in luxury goods.  The Veblen goods theory might propose the desirability increase with the price, but that doesn't change the fact that these are perishable, consumable, goods.  Leather rots, steel rusts, and mechanisms wear.  The logic in respect of the luxury goods companies also doesn't operate.  As these are businesses with earning calls that pay dividends.  No matter what, barring bankruptcy, you will always own said stock.  The same can't be said for a bag or watch.

In an article within Forbes the creator of the Hedge fund waxed lyrical about the first Birkin selling for $10.1 million in Christies.  Stating this was their motivation.  It's difficult to square that circle, and understand how they extrapolate a one of a kind piece meaning all mass produced handbags merit investment.  Because despite Hermes clever marketing, these are mass produced bags.  

We see this going  nowhere fast, and in our view, that's a good thing. 

Rimowa Cocktail Case Severely Overvalue Silverplate.

 

We were all set to write a scathing critique of the new limited edition Rimowa cocktail set, poking fun at the individual ridiculousness of its components, and how foolish anyone might be to consider it.  But the wind was really taken out of our sails when we noticed that it's sold out.

Brevity is the soul of wit, and so we will simply observe the following;  A number of individuals chose to spend £4,300 on an aluminium case, silver plated cocktail shaker, and to silver plated jiggers, and silver plated stirring spoon.  

We love luxury goods. that's what this little blog is about.  However, a sterling silver cocktail shaker set from Asprey can be had for £5,150, just £800 more, and a Demi-Shaker in solid silver for only £2,150.  This isn't merely overvaluing Silverplate, it's faintly ridiculous.  However, it sold out, so more fool us maybe.

Bang & Olufsen Release Beosound Premiere at a Lower Price Point than Current Top End Soundbar.

Bang & Olufsen have announced and released a brand new Soundbar into their range, the Beosound Premiere.  With the same type of directional audio lens type technology employed in many of its other models, this is likely to present an all in one audio solution for those desiring it.  Or the centrepiece in an ultra high end surround sound cinema setup.

However, what we find most interesting and compelling about this is its price point.  At £3,900.00 as a starting price, it is less than 50% the price of the Beosound Theatre, currently B&O's top Soundbar.  This is an odd decision.  Especially given the brands recent pricing and market positioning decisions.  See for example the grossly overpriced Beo Grace earbuds.  

Yet celebrating might be unwise.  This is still a considerable amount more expensive than the Resound Stage, which currently costs £2,300.00, and which appears to show low stock on the UK site.  This means that the Stage will probably be discontinued, and the Premiere will be the new low end Soundbar.  That makes more sense in respect of the direction Bang Olufsen is moving in.  With that direction being one of nonsensical out of touch pricing.

It's a real pity the brand is moving this way.  We have mentioned it before, but it bears repeating.  This seems a violent counter-reaction against their 2010's "Beo Play" range, which was an attempt to produce a budget range.  That rightly failed, but the new movement is taking the brand into he stratosphere in the worst way.  Adjusted for inflation their prices are considerably more than they were 20 years ago.  Which might be one of the reasons they are struggling financially, which a cursory look at their annual earnings report demonstrates.

We very much hope this doesn't continue.  If it does the brand risks being purchased by a company that will strip away everything that made it great, such as (horror) LVMH.

 

Leandesk Presents a Luxurious Space Saving Anywhere Desk Idea.

The fact is anyone living in an urban environment is likely to be needing to overcome severe constraints on the space they have available.  Decades of Neo-liberal policy have made it so, and so the best solution is to make the new reality as palatable and attractive as possible.  Therefore elegant space saving design ideas are literal life savers, and the Leandesk is one of those.

Designed by an English furniture designer who observed the way yachting furniture utilises cables and ropes, yet remains remarkably stable, the Leandesk implements these utilitarian ideas in an attractive wooden frame, that unfolds, leans, and can be a sitting or standing desk.  Then when not in use, can be mounted on a wall hook. 

There's no question that the origins of this are steeped in the type of privilege that only someone who has access to yachting can know.  But that doesn't detract from it being effective, stylish, and undeniably luxurious.  Available in two sizes, and in various woods, starting from £450.00 from their website.